Moving or Not Moving
I'm thinking of leaving Tabulas. I already decided to leave Easyjournal, and I'm in the process of deleting the entries one by one. (I could delete the entire thing in one click, but I wrote there for five, almost six years. It's difficult to just see it disappear from the face of the internet, like it's difficult to burn your journal, for instance.)
Anyway, I got a Wordpress blog, and I'm going to (try) not to blog about my life anymore. I'm going to write about things that I'm interested about, like music, and books, and random things, and maybe my random thoughts too. But not the random personal things in my life. And maybe post music there once in a while.
It's http://thememorybox.wordpress.com. Update your links. Thanks. :)
Good opinion, once lost, is lost forever
Now I want to read Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice again.
I finally, finally was able to watch the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice, shown in the UK on 1995. Thanks to the invention of streaming videos. I've always wanted to watch it since I found out about it, which was all because of Helen Fielding and her obsession with Colin Firth's Mr. Darcy. Oh, so I guess I have to thank Helen Fielding too for making me obsessed to watch it.
Colin Firth, guuuuh. Quintessential Mr. Darcy. Jennifer Ehle's performance was better than Keira Knightley's in the 2005 version, imho. Script was better too. And even though it is a love story, it's also about social standing and ambitions, which the 2005 version didn't emphasize on but the BBC version did. I thought everything was just right, as faithful as you can get to the book. (But with the--gasp!-- infamous lake scene. With Colin Firth fully clothed, but that's okay. :D Now I understand why Helen Fielding was obsessed with that scene)
...
I want to watch it again. I find myself addicted to period/historical films and TV series just like some of my friends get addicted to reading romance novels. Guuuuhhhhh Mr. Darcy. x_x
Let's Think, Think, Think
I just bought and read "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time", and I started thinking I'm kind of autistic. ("Kind of", like half or maybe a quarter autistic or whatever) I mean I'm kind of autistic because I'm a bit OC, I like counting letters when I see words-- in DVD covers, product labels, information or instructions on a certain box, and the list just goes on and on that it's crazyyy-- and sometimes I find myself thinking the way the character in the book thinks. But I know I'm not exactly autistic because I'm not socially impaired, even if I sometimes think I am. And I'm very emotional and expressive, and sometimes not really logical. I learned autistic persons aren't really big on emotions.
Who knows? Maybe when I was a teeny-weeny one-inch mass in my mother's womb I was meant to become autistic, but voila! I turned out normal. As normal as you can get, I guess, because I'm not sure what I mean by "normal". I've been calling myself weird since I was 10.
They say that writers are crazy people, or that the greatest writers happen to be crazy. When we were in college, my friends and I used to say that we weren't exceptional creative writing students-- we didn't win contests, we didn't become fellows in distinguised writing workshops, we weren't exactly the most talented batch-- because we were too happy. Well, not really, but we weren't sad either, sad or angry to the point that we were kind of "crazy writers". We liked reading fanfiction and romantic novels in between reading the classics and award-winning lit pieces that we were required to read for classes.
I'm thinking, well, what about autistic people? What about people with high IQs but can't tell the difference between this smiley (:-S) and this smiley (:-/)? Can they be writing geniuses too? And no, I'm not talking about myself because I know I don't have a high IQ and I'm pretty knowledgeable when it comes to smileys. Interesting question, huh. What about being so-called kulang-kulang (sorry for using a word that's so politically incorrect)? Is that a trait that will create a genius?
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Things to think about:
1. CSC exam
2. Resignation
3. New job
4. What to do with life (don't we all think about this?)
5. and other things
We don't really run out of things to think and worry about, I guess.
The Secret
I believe in the law of attraction, that if you want something you have
to know exactly what you want and visualize it, and then slowly, you
let go. Don't obsess. Just the knowledge that you know what you want
and that you have it in your head, that's enough to make it real.
But
the thing is, I don't know the exact job I want. I listed down the
characteristics of the job I want, like I want to work with my own desk
and I want to do research and I want to be creative and I don't want a
job that deals with too much chit-chat and socializing and PR and being
such a people-pleaser. What's that? I don't know exactly. Probably a
researcher or something boring like that. But I'm not sure.
Geez.
In all honesty, I'm pretty easy to please. I'm low maintenance, I have
a shallow sense of humor, I like to be happy. But come on. Why do I
have to be so choosy when it comes to jobs!!
It's kind of
hard for me to be all friendly and be robotic. Sometimes I just want to
do my job and be left alone. So what kind of job is that? I know it's
somehow related to writing, but not writing for mags and newspapers
because that deals with interviewing people and I'm soooooo awkward in
interviewing people.
Manila, are you calling me now? As if
I'll find the job I want in Manila. I don't think it makes a
difference. It's just all in my maarte mind.
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So what is the secret, do you know?
+++
Eh kung mag-law na lang kaya ako? LOL WHUT. I'd probably cry if my dad forces me to go to law.
Gusto Mo Bang Sumama?
Tapos na ang E-heads concert.
It's all over the news now, that Ely Buendia was rushed to the hospital after suffering from fatigue. I couldn't be there; I'm how many miles away from the concert. But I'm happy for those who were able to watch. :) Mukang ang saya!
What would I give to go back to being 10 years old in 1995, seeing my lolo alive, being with my cousins who are now living abroad, being a kid with no problems? A lot of things. But it's okay. I love Eraserheads and their music because they remind me of my childhood, just like all the little things that make me cry because they make me remember people and things that I'd like to see again.
:D
So that's two of my fabulous idols, Ma'am Claire Dy and John Bengan, YAYYY!! Eeeeeee so happy! Congrats to both of you!
(Sana ako din. Yesyes ako din!! Someday. :D)
I'm Going to Tell You a Secret
I'm trying to lose weight again. :D Fuuuun. But somehow I'm not in the mood to write how much food I'm eating every meal and how long I exercise. I used to do that before, but now I'm too lazy to keep a weight loss journal. Or maybe I'll do that later. But I do keep a weight loss chart, though. I'm currently 130 lbs., which was my weight two years ago, before I got healthy, lost 10 lbs. and then got into the aswang/call center job. That's overweight for me, because I'm only about 4'10 or 4'11. Girls as short as me should be 109 lbs. at least. And the last time I weighed that less was when I was in high school.
Hmm. Tough job, losing 21 lbs. But I'll try to lose about 10 lbs. by November. My goal is to lose 15 lbs. by December, but I don't think I can do that. It's easy to lose the first 5 lbs., but the next 10 lbs. will be difficult. As effort (if you count positive thinking as effort), every time I'm in front of the mirror, I pinch my belly fats and say to myself, with much confidence as I could muster of course, "I am going to lose you, you stubborn piece of fat!" I say that like I'm challenging my belly fats to a duel, and believing that I'll manage to melt my opponent like butter heated in a cooking pan.
And I do believe. Believe! Of course I can't give up my rice, but I can give up some of the extra rice I consume every meal and all the additional stuff, like the sugar-coated Butter Coconut biscuits I eat every afternoon at work. And I can increase my movement. (and I can be patient. and I can hopefully just think on the goal and not succumb to temptation) Otherwise, I'll probably be 150 lbs. by next year. Tsk, think of all the clothes I can't wear if I get too heavy. Think of the cute dress I want to buy on December for Thanksgiving!!
For everyone trying to lose weight as well, pagpalain ho sana tayo lahat. Kaya natin ito!! :D
